a l l i e

"Who I am and what I want are a secret."

As my ears caught the sound of those beautiful notes being plucked on the electric guitar, my mind drifted off to another place. Somewhere in Australia, I don't know where, but according to Sakinah, the concert was there. Yes, the concert. A tribute to all anime and game fans.

Taking in the ambience and the noise of a concert, I created a scene in my mind. The stage was there, bright with lights flashing in various colours. The crowd was there, cheering. The music was being played, live, and at that moment, everyone's mind became one and swayed with the music. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. So much life, so much music.

In my mind, the Theme of Laura was being played.

In my mind, Akira Yamaoka himself was playing the main tune of this song, plucking the tune of this song.

In my mind, I stood among the crowds, just admiring the way he played it.

I was truly moved by the way he played by just imagining how it would sound if it was played live on stage. Then, I started to hear people shouting his name, cheering him on. Perhaps fans, screaming out "Silent Hill!" like calling out someone's name. Of course, the theme was from Silent Hill 2. But to be called out like that, it felt like something else.

There's no need for a projection screen behind the bands playing Theme of Laura to show some of those memorable moments in Silent Hill 2. No picture. No scenes. Just the music, the band, the crowd, and the man himself. Akira Yamaoka.

Then it switches to the next song, where Mary Elizabeth McGlynn makes a special appearance to Tender Sugar and Your Rain. Akira Yamaoka takes the lead, playing the main tunes of the song, and McGlynn begins to sing the first few verses of the song.

Everything slows down after Theme of Laura, and people stopped cheering. They sang along to the verses, with lyrics they memorized by heart. The darkness grew and somewhere in the distance, someone waved his lighter in the air. One by one, light filled up the place again with people waving their source of light here and there.

Akira Yamaoka played his solo guitar part. No arching backs or wild screams. Just keeping his cools as he played. It was a calm song, after all. And there's no need for such minuscule headbanging. McGlynn kept on, pouring out her every regret and sorrow as the song went on with her vocals. Such sorrow. Such pain. Memories from Silent Hill 4: The Room began to fill the minds of the fans.

I remembered.

But everytime the music stopped.

My mind snapped back to reality.

I'm not at a concert. I'm not standing. I'm not cheering with everyone else because there is no "everyone else". I'm alone. I'm back in Malaysia, my home, sitting in front of the computer and typing this entry out.

I know.

Why oh why can't Malaysia have such concerts? To hell with boybands, bands, singers and such. To hell with them and to hell with their mainstream shit.

I want Akira Yamaoka! I want Bôa! I want FrouFrou! I want Esthero! I want Gorillaz! I want the Squeenix crew in charge of all the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts and other soundtracks for their other games to come and perform with the MPO! I want Olivia Lufken(sp?) and Anna Tsuchiya! I want Sarah Mclachlan! I want Soil and "Pimp" Session with their odd genre of Death Jazz! Heck, I want Yanni!

Oh, how I would love to see that concert with my own two eyes, to hear it with my own two ears, and to feel the music with my heart and soul.

Imaginations can be pretty sad at times.

And right now, I feel sad.

=(