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Love.

The first thing that comes to mind when you think about it are warm feelings, the kind of feelings that make you feel safe and secured at all times. It makes you happy, lustful, and it's a place where you can cling to for support. Heh, it can even make you do things you would never do before, like...risking your own life for the other.

Sure, that's human, but that act was driven by the very thing called 'love'. This feeling can be both a good thing, and a bad thing, of course. It can turn into an obsession, a curse, a change in life, a recipe for disaster, a monster. But when it all comes down to it, 'love' is just a feeling and these good and bad definitions we have for it are merely the machinations of the mind.

Some would agree, others would deny this fact.

But that is as far as I know about this strange feeling called 'love' because when I look at her, I see new meanings, new definitions, new...new everything.

Ah, no, don't get me wrong here. I am only her travel companion, someone she wanted as company on her travels. Her mind is elsewhere, and her heart drifts in the wind; I was nowhere in there. But to be honest, I never wanted to. My heart longs for the fiancee I left back at home, but for some strange reason, I ended up in her company.

Who is she, you ask? Well, that's what I have been trying to find out all these years. You see, she never really gave me a name or any clue about her identity. It was a difficult task when we first travelled together; I was unable to call her by anything.

"Lady, don't you have a name that I can use to call you?" I asked, a long time ago.

But she only smiled and shook her head; "You can call me just that, Mikhail,"

"Lady?"

"Yes,"

So from then onwards, I called her Lady. It suited her, I guess.

And did I tell you that she was the most beautiful woman I have ever met?

Of course, the term 'beauty' is only a perspective and as you know, different people have different perspectives of their own. But when it came to Lady, she was beautiful in every perspective, both mine and the others who see her. It was as though she...morphed herself entirely when it comes to others. Not physically, of course, but....there was something about the way she does to certain men that piques their curiosity and interest.

Let me give you an image of her; imagine a slim young woman, probably around the age of 18 to 20. Imagine long raven-black hair that reached down to her waist, wavy and bouncy. Imagine a pair of bright brown eyes that seemed to shimmer like gold. Imagine a slightly tanned, smooth skin covered in cloths of deep blue and pale yellow. Imagine perfection when it came to her limbs. Imagine that. Don't get me started with her nudes.

But even with her beauty, I was never aroused by it. Amazed, yes, but not aroused or interested. Like I have said before, it was as though she chooses when to do those to others.

And of course, a woman with her beauty has a line of both suitors and lovers behind her. But Lady never accepts their hand. Entirely. She takes their hand in matrimony, in an oath of undying love; and then she would disappear. Like the wind, she leaves as quickly as she would come.

Was she in great sorrow when she does that, you ask?

Honestly, even I fail to find the answers myself. Let's not start with my endless pondering on her decision to do so, though I have asked her before. But her reply was as enigmatic as the very perfection that is her to begin with.

"So you come, you give them a little something to dream of, and then you leave," I said during one of our stops, after leaving a city whose name I failed to remember, "Why do you break their hearts like that? Why do you smile when you step out of their beds and leave their humble abodes?"

Lady smiled and leaned back, "Why do dreams end when you wake up, Mikhail?"

For a moment there, I was taken aback by her question. Once more, I pondered at this, but Lady continued on.

"Why do people dream?" she stared at the fire wonderingly.

"Because it's the only place where they are given the freedom to do what they want. They can have everything there," I replied, certain of my answer, "But it's...it's not right to be that way because no one can have everything they want in the world. That is why they wake up,"

She giggled and looked at me, "So it is not right for you to desire Anna?"

What the hell did I just say? "No, no! Anna..." the image of my fiance flashed across my mind, "In time, Lady, in time. What I desire from her is something that we cannot grant each other until the day of our wedding,"

"And of poor men who dreams of riches?"

I frowned, "I am not a sage, Lady,"

"Neither am I godly enough to answer your questions with no err, Mikhail," she sighed and turned away, looking at the starlit sky above her, "I seek freedom, and I seek love. Two extreme ends of desires. I want to love, more than anything else, but I do not want to be tied down by its chains. Thus, I run far when the chains begin to form,"

I could not find the words to reply to this, so I kept my silence, waiting for her to continue.

"Selfish, I know, but....it is in my nature, I suppose," her eyes lowered to the ground, and in a soft voice, she whispered, "But I do love all of them, very much,"

Love? This is her view on love? Momentary dreams and hopes, only to be snatched away in mere seconds? I was outraged, of course, for this was not the love that I know and feel when I think of Anna! But then she looked at me with those bright brown eyes of hers piercing through mine as though she was expecting this anger in me. And my god, she smiled.

In that instance, my anger subsided, but only to be replaced by something else, something I realised at this moment. Perhaps it was an answer to the questions I posed above.

"You fear loneliness,"

Lady laughed unbelievingly, "Is that so?"

"You fear the chains, because they would later bring about lonelines. You left them because you know that one day, they would leave you. You left them because you do not have faith!"

My last word came out hard and cruel, as though I literally slapped it across her face. And it worked as I thought it would; she was sitting there, stunned by my words, and for a moment, I felt triumphant for being able to solve this puzzle, to exact justice upon this wrongdoer of love and hope, to exert the love that I have for Anna.

For the longest time, I stood there, staring at her, just waiting, no- daring her to say something.

"We are alone, Mikhail,"

I wanted to retort, but when I thought about it, I realised she meant something else. I waited for her to continue.

"We are all alone in the end," the expression on her face faded to nothing. Only a calm, pensive stare; "Faith is what keeps the dream on. People lose their faith, they wake up and start from the beginning. But to those who succeed, they would live in their dreams for as long as their faith lasts.

And then, it will be gone,"

It was so flawed, yet it rings with truth; why does it work that way? I cannot fathom it, despite her explanations, despite her words; I simply cannot...or rather, I choose not to. But to choose such a choice meant that I had nothing else to say in return.

"You cannot understand my thoughts, Mikhail," she added softly, "Because you have always deluded yourself with your thoughts, like most people do,"

I was at loss for words, and at that moment, I felt my very beliefs shakened by her words. My minds returned to Anna, my dearest Anna, but I could see nothing but those cruel possibilities that tainted the very image of my fiancee itself. Separation, anger, sorrow, disappointment, distrust, loneliness; I would have mentioned more if it were not for the depression that finally got to me.

You haven't seen the things that I've seen and felt throughout my life's journey.

But you're stronger than I am, Mikhail.

Because you are still pure, and I am tainted by my own thoughts and actions.

Perhaps deluding yourself in this makes a man the happiest living being in this world.

Yet, I only wish you the best.

We will part ways here, my friend.

Farewell, and pray that we may never cross paths again.

When I awoke, she was gone. But I heard her whispered words as I drifted between waking up and sleeping, and I thought about it for a while.

She may be right; we are all living in a dream we strongly believe in, and that we always try to make our dreams stay the way we want to. Hence, we become selfish in our ways, that then leads to separation. Betrayal. Silence. We are weak and selfish like that.

But she is wrong about one thing.

Not all of us are dreamers forever.

I, for one, intend to make mine and Anna's dreams come true. And there is nothing she can say against that.

And so, with a triumphant smile on my face, I begin my journey back to the village. To home. To Anna.

I'm coming, Anna.

- - -

This was something I wrote a long time ago, just trying to comprehend Akiko's/Alaistar's/Lady's thoughts and feelings to her actions. She...how do I put it, well, she is very, VERY emo when it comes to issues like this.

Well, that tends to happen when you live too long to see the whole scene played before you over and over again. Immortality screws you up a lot, that's why we're only given a limited lifespan.

Cherish it. And cherish every moment we spend.

It's the only thing we have left while time ticks our deaths into motion.