a l l i e

"Who I am and what I want are a secret."

I see myself typing this down. My fingers moved as my mind dictates. Fingers, obedient fingers, they moved in respond, tapping on the keys of my laptop that represent the letters of the alphabet. Q, W, E, R, T, Y, ...the list goes on.

Yet, as my mind continues to dictate, I as the soul, the host of this vessel, ask myself this question:

WHY THE HELL AM I NOT DOING MY REPORT?

Truly, my boredom increases, and my input-output systems has gone down the drain. The bed is just next to me, with the soft mattress, the oh-so-comfortable blanket, the pillow...heck, I'm even holding on to my panther plushie, Bagheera, with me. At times, I would stop to stroke Bagheera and cuddle it, as though it was a real being. And at times, I do imagine that he is real (just not real enough to pounce me like the giant cat he is~ =S).

Goodness gracious, I feel like a child holding this cotton-stuffed panther in my arms. Yet, strangely, it felt real, comforting, and there is that small hint of love in it. Though dead, it was soft and lovable.

Well, let's get back to the main topic.

As you can see now, I am not doing my report. Of course, I have finished most of it and all that is left is my "problem" section, "discussion", and my "conclusion". Unfortunately, the same problem appeared once more; I am unmotivated.

Although I've had my share of dinner (ate a Whopper Jr. from BK), I could feel my stomach craving for more food. Ignore it, I tell myself, it's just being whiny. Then I lifted my glass and was about to drink from it, when I realise that there was no more water in it. Ah, empty now, eh? I was too lazy to walk out to refill my drink. If I did go though, that will be my 4th time going back to the kitchen to refill my supply of water.

Indeed, my mind is wandering here and there, like those minuscule little round objects you call "matter". The Brown Movement, was it? Sorry, I learned it in the native language, and they called it 'Gerakan Brown'. I was translating it word by word.

But yes, looking at how odd and random my post for today was, I could tell that I am not thinking straight now. In my mind, I see a city and a ramen stall near a drainage hole that leads to an abandoned city. Someone is there, enjoying his meal with another girl. Probably the girl he's dating now. Something else appeared from the drainage hole, something not quite human. It looked human, but an accident turned the poor thing into the next Quasimodo with a more deformed look. Its speech was unintelligible, yet it spoke and expected the others to understand.

I turn away and I see a sickly detective investigating a case that led to the abandoned city. He left the crime scene quickly after gathering his informations and walked into the local prostitute brothel, where he hired two ladies to accompany him for the night. It was in his nature to sleep with as many women as he could. He was addicted to this sport, but his heart remains to only one, his lady wife. But the wife did not see this, sadly, and his love was thrown away. He couldn't help it; hiring whores for him was like smoking cigarettes. He never smoke though, thanks to his medical condition. Funny, he was born with a female name.

That sight was a typical sight for me. I turned away once more and I see a familiar face who had finished counting his stocks on flour and ingredients necessary for his bakery shop. It was an odd hobby for him; he used to be a serial killer once, claiming 23 victims at the point of his blade. This person was only 10 years old when that happened. Perhaps baking took his mind off the killing? Who knows.

But it soon ended with the sight of a man flying across the skies. He had a pair of wings on his back and carried a silver staff with him. Long hair, long beautiful hair...mane of gold. I seem to be able to recall his name, the name I gave him.

Saaya.

Then I remembered.

And I returned to where I first begun; in front of my laptop, facing my 3/4 completed report. Should I finish it now?

Of course I should! It's just a little bit more to go.

But then again, I could finish the rest tomorrow and then bother my rushed assignment on Friday.

...

My heart, body, and mind leaned more to tomorrow than today.

Right, it is settled then! I shall sleep tonight and visit those people. Report will be done tomorrow. And so will everything else regarding that silly subject.

So long to random thoughts. You have never failed to confuse me. Ever.