a l l i e

"Who I am and what I want are a secret."

Lately, I can't seem to grasp the very idea of living at all. You could say that this life I'm living is like...a routine, something I have to go by until my battery runs out. But is this all there is?

Yea, go ahead. Tell me to be more religious and maybe through this, I might just find the meaning I've longed searched. But that would only result in me trying to find god. And you know what they say nowadays; god's dead. Not that he's literally dead, in fact, I think he just took off the moment he was done with this god-forsakened place he called The Universe.

At least that's what the world taught me.

"Hey there. You've reached Ryo Hirasaki's house phone, and you guessed it; I'm not at home. So leave a message after the beep"

"You asshole, I know you're there. Pick up the goddamn phone,"

My name is Ryo. I'm a detective. And I decided to answer the phone.

"Fuck off, Mitsuo. It's my day off,"

"Ryo, it's about your client..."

My client? Oh yes, I remember working on a case a few days ago. My client is some senator's wife, whatever her name was. She wanted me to keep an eye out on her husband's activities. Apparently, she was told that her husband was seeing another woman behind her back. Yes, the usual ones about affairs, et cetera. Normally, I'd turn down those kinds of offer, but I figured there was something I could get from her...maybe something that I can use against those corrupted higher-ups.

To be honest, I wanted this city to be rid of them all for good. I mean, that's what a cop does, right? The citizens first before anything else, right?

"What about her?" I asked while getting dressed.

There was a sigh, and then he continued; "She's dead,"

I paused for a moment there; dead?

"You'd better come down here, Ryo. It doesn't look good,"

I contemplated, and decided to go pay her my last visit; "Be there in 5,"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'll continue this tomorrow. I'm...terribly tired right now.

Ah, and I have found another obsession today:



This...is addicting. It's...affecting me too.

Goddamnit.

Is it me, or are the two Fleetwood Mac songs I listened to were dedicated to my imaginary friends?

Then again, I think too much.

Anyway, this song is called Rhiannon, sung by Fleetwood Mac. If you take the meaning of her name into consideration, it would probably be translated to "witch". But in reality, this is a mistake that many made. Rhiannon is a horse goddess of the Welsh Mythology, often depicted as a beautiful woman dressed in gold atop a white horse.

When I thought she would have a grand tragic story, it turned out that it was just another...normal story. Or so I thought it was. Sad, yes, but...odd too.

Nevertheless, at least I now found the perfect song for this one persona/imaginary friend of mine. She, at this point, is one of the prominent personae in me. You could say that she is the embodiment of "lust" itself. But not the kind who would whore herself for the fun of it.

Like how Ryoko was attuned to Dreams, my persona/imaginary friend, Akiko, is attuned to Rhiannon.

Truly, when I read the lyrics, it really sounded like her story.

Unlike Ryoko's story (a corrupted detective who dreams to bring justice), Akiko...or rather, Alaistar, is something very different from Ryoko's. It involves magic, immortality, and mystery. Yes, Alaistar is an immortal being in my story.

She was created since the beginning of time with only one purpose: to bear the rune of Emptiness and protect it till the time comes for her to truly put it to good use. In other words, she's like a time bomb just waiting to explode because the rune she bears is the forbidden self-destruct button of the world. But to bear it, she would need a shell...a body. And so, she assumes the identity of Alaistar, an 18-year-old woman with no proper memory of the past.

At this point, she is human, an immortal one. And like every human, she too has her womanly desires. But the thought of spending an eternity with the one she loves would not come true, no thanks to her immortality. She loathed it and often wished for death (yes, she's quite the morbid lady). I mean, who wouldn't, right? Eventually, even you too get sick of living for too long.

So she became somewhat distant. Alaistar would remain with man and love him enough for her to be able to leave him peacefully. On and off, on and off; and this goes on for a very long time. To her, it was probably the best way to live in the mean time.

There were a few stories and arcs regarding her journeys and lovers. But out of all her lovers, there were two whom she really loved (one now, because the other man did...something).

I...I honestly don't know how to describe her. She can sometimes be like this, and at other times, like that. You could say she's bipolar, but I don't believe that's the right term. Alaistar...I don't know, when you look at her, words such as "fleeting, far away, melancholic, and vengeful" comes to mind.

As for physical appearance, well...I know this would be very Mary-Sue of me to do this but she really is a lovely being. I described her as a "young woman with dark violet hair and gold eyes". Her body is probably the epitome of "voluptuous", I mean, after all, she is the "Lust" in me.

Alaistar...*sigh* God knows how many hearts she broke in her lifetime...

Rhiannon rings like a bell through the night
and wouldn't you love to love her?
She rules her life like a bird in flight
and who will be her lover?

All your life you've never seen a woman
taken by the sky
Where would you stay if she promised you heaven?
Would you even try?

And he says "Rhiannon,
don't go,"
And he says "Rhiannon,
stay,"

And he says
"I still cry out for you
don't leave me
don't leave me..."

My question remains as it is;



WHY THE HELL IS THIS PERSON A GIRL?

WHY?

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THE GODS IN THIS WORLD, WHY IS HE A SHE?



- - - - - - - - -

I know, there are others out there who are in the worst case. But...I mean, come on. You video game directors can easily make pretty girls and fool the world into thinking that they're girls when in reality, they are male and have their male genitals in them.

Make them gay, for all I care. So long as they're pretty.

BUT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO COME CLEAN AND BE HONEST TO YOUR FANS.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


- - - - - -

Bah, such is my life. I realise that I am really enjoying these...boys the Japanese are marketing. And the worst part is;

they come in real figures too.

NOT JUST IN VIDEO GAMES, MY FRIENDS

REAL LIFE.

0_0