a l l i e

"Who I am and what I want are a secret."

You think taking care of someone is a simple task? Well, I tell you, it isn't.

You know you want to be everything for that person, but when you realise how light your wallet becomes, how you sometimes neglect your meals, how you often go against your parents' wishes for them, how you much you spent for them and none for you, how you would wait for them for hours and tell yourself that it doesn't bother you when it did, how you would do anything to just see them even for a split second, how you--

And the list goes on.

But then, when you think back about these things in your sulking moments, you would end up regretting and grind your teeth and brain as you think of all the money you spent on that one outing when you know your parents are having some sort of difficulty with their income. And there, you begin to blame yourself for your own stupidity because you spent too much, or rather, gave too much for that one person and none for your own.

Perhaps at this moment, you would regret it for actually being with that person. And perhaps in all your fury and anger, you decided to call it off. End it there, move on to the next person in the list, and later find out that that person turned out to be even worse than the one you had before.

Thus, the vicious cycle continues.

But that step can be skipped should you allow rationality to aid your judgement. You put yourself in that person's shoes and try to evaluate things from their point of view, and there you find that they are somewhat similar to yours. Perhaps that, and then you would see that they too suffer the same thing, but they are better than you, because despite all that, they still care for you and asks if you are all right in the midst of you thinking about all the money you spent.

Love later comes into the picture and melts your heart, probably enough to forgive him and tell yourself that you just needed to be a little more patient. Deep down inside, you really do love him but perhaps other factors contribute to those dark thoughts and made you feel down. But you must remember, he is still human.

Sure, he forgets your birthday, forgets to treat you for breakfast, forgets that you don't have enough to spend, forgets that you waited for him for so long and then later he doesn't treat you like you deserved it, and all the faulty ones.

But think again, haven't YOU treated him the same way?

So for you people out there who feels this way, think again! And yes, he still loves you, girls!

And I love you, Aiman Azri. *smiles*