a l l i e

"Who I am and what I want are a secret."

Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground...

I would love you, yes, I would, if I remember how it felt. It had been so long since I last had a woman in my arms. Centuries, eons, forever; these words surround the very thing you hold in your hands, beloved.

Would one go beyond death? Perhaps, for I am the living proof of it. Sadly, only I can exist in such a way. How amusing; you, who are at the brink of death, and I, beyond death. We truly are meant for each other, even if this moment is just a second away from your doom.

I would hold you close to me, my love, my nameless lover. My warmth will shelter you from Death's touch, claiming you as mine before I release you. My hands will caress your skin, and I will lean close to your ears and whisper loving words.

I would love you, yes, I would. And my memory returns gradually.

I would watch you fall, sprawled across the bed like a beautiful porcelain doll. Your lovely red hair, now a reminder of what was once an inferno of lust in the night, would dangle from the edges of the bed. You would raise your hand to me, beckoning me to your side. You would whisper my name like a chant. I was the wish, your wish.

Oh, love, if the gods were kind to you, I would rape you. I would take you with such force that would leave you begging for more!

Alas, your body grows weak by the second. Your breaths short and desperate, the fire in your eyes, dimming. Yet, in these hopeless moments, you would still give your love to me.

Make believing we're together
That I'm sheltered by your heart...

Gods, give me time! Let me feel the humanity that I lost long ago, let me feel.

In the midst of my despair, you would calmly pull me to your side and kiss me. Your lips; they were cold yet...comforting. I would shudder, feeling your legs wrapped around my waist. I could hear your breaths growing shorter, and your voice, softer than before. But you would scream, moan, laugh, and cry.

You loved me.

And so did I.

It must have been love, but it's over now

Then you fell.

It must have been good, but I lost it somehow

There was a smile, a loving caress. And then, release.

It must have been love, but it's over now..

I watched you for a very long time. And in those moments, I remembered. In all those eternities I spent searching for immortality, I remembered.

From the moment we touched

till the time had run out...

I love you.

- - - - - -

Honestly, I could have done better, but I wasn't in the mood for it. To be precise, I can't remember how it all happened. I forgot the passion, the love, the lust, the desire when I wrote this down.

In case you're wondering, I was merely re-enacting a scene in a book by Anne Rice called Servant of the Bones. No, this scene only appeared once in the book (unlike her other vampire books) and this was a hetero relationship, not too worry.

I remembered reading this scene and strangely, at that moment, this song was played. And now, every time I hear this song, I remember Azriel and his lovemaking with that woman whose name I failed to remember. It was...bittersweet, really. He was her first and last lover. And yes, she did die in the end.

Bah, what a time for me to be feeling sappy. Hope you enjoyed the entry though.