a l l i e

"Who I am and what I want are a secret."

Normally, I would write bits and pieces of the things I have done today and tell the world of my happiness and joys. But now, it feels as though there is nothing else to write. Oh no, it's not depression I feel now. In fact, it's...joy. Pure joy.

Hm, I don't suppose I've told you much about my life nowadays, do I?

To be honest, there's...too many to tell...and there's nothing much tell. Or maybe, in other words, there's just a lot of stories to tell that I simply couldn't find the words to say or to convey these multitude of feelings in here. *chuckles* Maybe it's like what Mo said, I use too many flowery words in most of my entries. It's either that or I just write it like a merry-go-round, round and round we go till the ride stops.

But that's...that's just how it feels. And it feels like I would do it great injustice if I don't write it in such a way.

Imagine that you had just experienced the best day of your life, ever (of course, to each individual, the term 'best day' differs. So I'll leave this for you to think on). You wouldn't want to just...write an entry put it all in plain words like this:

"Today was great. I did with . Here are pictures of us doing . It's awesome. I wish my day was like this all the time."

Sure, probably other people would write it like that and show their joy through their pictures. But I, I'm no photographer. I am not well versed in the art of capturing moments in time.

But I could turn it into a prose. And it comes down to me to paint my story with many flowers and soak it all with the sweetest honey that would make even my readers turn away in disgust and loathe; and all is done according to my appropriate dosage of the day.

Selfish, is it not?

But I asked for it when I started this blog. I already know that this is how I would be writing, and I know of its little risks and troubles when I put them up for display. I know that I am acknowledging to that 'selfish' feeling I have in me. Hell, this whole entry is based entirely on 'selfish' and 'vanity'. XD

So call me pretentious, but this is the selfish side of me. And I am not ashamed of it.




In any case, let me update you with what has happened in my life so far. And yes, this contradicts my points above, but meh.


Aaaaaaaaaaand I will write a proper entry for William when I have the time. I promise you, that particular entry will be filled with huge amounts of fangirl-ism and love. So see this as a warning of some sort to stay away from Aufsteigende Flugel for a while. ;]

Until then, farewell, my fellow readers.

The trial is over. Mom is back, and every little war or grudge that maid A has against me is resolved. Umm, yes, we are still not talking, but I'm glad that Mom is safely back home and I have the freedom to go out without worrying what will happen back home and all.

And now I can blog peacefully. =)

Let's see...well, yes, for all you people who's keeping up with the updates in this blog, rejoice and be merry for I have updated! Hail~ =P

Lots has happened, and I suppose I've been going out a lot. I got an extra RM100 for taking care of the house while both my parents are gone. And recently, I've just watched Elizabeth (though I missed 1/3 of the movie in the beginning, thanks to Ikea's wonderful meatballs and Russ~ XD), and I must say, it's quite a good watch. I've always been a big fan of Cate Blanchett (sp?), and I like her roles and such, always portraying the strong lead actress. An exception to Lord of The Rings, she only played as Lady Galadriel, but even that sort of fills me with...light.

*sighs* She's beautiful, I must say. For someone old, she seemed so wise and...well, yea, beautifully wise. I don't know if others feel the same way that I do, but, heck. This is similar to the feeling I had whenever I look at Lacus Clyne.


She's just beautiful. Not just her voice, or her hair, or her looks. It's just that everything about her seemed so...serene and peaceful. I suppose if I were born a man, I would fall in love with her kind. After all, I've always been a clingy person, and clinging on to women such as these...well, it's a benefit.

But if that were the case, I'm more fit to be a woman than a man.

Then again, issues such as gender has always been one of the things my mind often ponders about whenever boredom sits with me. I remember my maid telling me that I was born wrong (LOL), saying that I was suppose to be born as a man instead of a woman. For some odd reason, she sees me that way. Then my Dad (stepfather, actually) would take me out to do the things men do, often treating me more of a son than a daughter. I would get in touch with electronics and woodworks. But sometimes, he'd force me to go work in the kitchen with him as well~ XD That was fun.

And I notice that I tend to dress like a man whenever I'm at my Mother's, often guarding my Mother and siblings like a brother would often do. I would speak in a lowered tone and will subconsciously imitate a man's voice.

I wonder, is that normal?

Then again, it's just these things, that's all. I'm still a girl, all in all. Most claim I'm like a mother to them.

...

Bright future for mom-hood? Sounds...all right, I guess. ^_^; After all, I plan to have four kids.

Oh well, I found something I really like to watch. Well, it sorts of cheers me up whenever I'm feeling down in the dumps, reminding me of Shar's comments on it.

Lemme' list down the lyrics here.

Wokaay...wokaaay...wokaaaaaay...

And that's all. XD

Don't you just love this song?